A Year in Review

Well, tomorrow is NYE. In light of that, I have decided to highlight the biggest events of Angiefest 2013. It's been a hell of a year.

• Position eliminated at work. Moved to shit-can new job, took up space for 2 months. This ended in getting a new job, that most days I absolutely love, and a new team that I love every day. Except one of you. You know who you are. I don't love you. I tried, I'm sorry.
• Was single all year. Basically. It was almost entirely awesome.
• Completed my first calendar year of school. Maintained a 4.0 GPA until yesterday. It dropped significantly. Lesson learned- take less classes.
• Returned to Fest. Best. Choice. Ever.
• First ever season at Trail of Terror. Again, good choice. It had its dramatic moments, but all in all, a good run. Also, the drama was dealt with in a most satisfactory fashion.
• Made TONS of new friends.
• Put an offer on a house. Still haven't heard back. My insidey parts are squishing just thinking about it. A "we accept" would be a perfect way to ring in 2014. Just saying.
• Self esteem at all time high. Strangely, I think my weight is also at an all time high. Seems contradictory, but there you have it. Current weight apparently factors in very little when it comes to how I feel about myself, soooooo- that's probably good.
• The much anticipated Crafty Angie returned. I made: A wreath, several embroideries, refinished a buttload of furniture, and the better part of a Halloween costume.
• I have done a good bit of socializing this year. Which is good, because now I don't have to for a while.
• Went to Florida to see my loving Other Family.
• Stayed alive.

Now, for next year-

Since I don't make resolutions (more like half-assed goals), I will set these goals for myself:

• Be alive all year
• Return to Fest yet again
• BUY A HOUSE (Or just move out of my apartment. Either way.)
• Don't alienate friends

Fin. (Eh heh heh. See how fucking cultured school has made me?!)

Kissing and Christmas

Since the Christmas Spirit has abandoned me this year, I have spent the day crafting, drinking, and reading articles online. I read one that was particularly interesting. I wish I had saved the link, but alas, I did not. Anyway, my failings aside, it was an article on the meaning behind kissing.
It talked about how people may kiss early in relationships to assess each other's potential as a mate. How we may use it as a tool to get close enough to both smell and taste a potential partner in order to assess their health and genetic compatibility.
It also referenced a survey of people who described themselves as being in a committed relationship, and claimed that in long-term relationships, kissing was most often referenced as the indicator of levels of happiness. Happier couples kissed more, although both happy and not-as-happy-but-still-kinda-happy couples had a comparable amount of sex.
This whole thing kind of made me wonder, so I sat and really thought about it for a while.
I have not been in very many long-term relationships, but even in the shorter ones, the ones I remember most fondly were the ones in which I kissed or was kissed by my partner most frequently. And they were also the ones who didn't kiss me like they thought we were making a porno (you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, don't you...).
Anyway, kissing is a HIGHLY underrated activity.
Do it more.
Do it to remind your partner how much they mean to you, or do it to let someone you really like know that you really like them, and that you are a good catch!

And Merry Christmas!   - These things are somehow related...

I got it-

MISTLETOE!

Adventures at Airport Junior

So, I made it through security in record time. Normally, this would be the most wonderful thing ever. Today, not so much. I'm really fucking tired, and the idea of having to be trapped in He'll' s Waiting Room with all of these ridiculous people makes me want to cry a little (ok, a lot). I'm pretty sure there is a banished in here. It might be the blonde lady a few rows over. Pretty sure.
Only one more hour of this.
Also, Air Tran told me when I got here that my connecting flight in Atlanta is full, so I will have to see an attendant there. Yeah, pretty sure I bought my ticket FOREVER ago so I could avoid this exact thing. Dafuq, Air Tran?! Have I mentioned that the Atlanta airport is easily one of the worst places in the know universe? Because it is. If any of you have ever been, you know. It's wretched. And it's in Atlanta. I HATE THAT CITY.
Have I mentioned that I'm tired? So, if I'm slightly more random, that would be why. I'm approaching 24 hours, and somewhere in the neighbourhood of fifty bazillion cups of coffee. I'm either going to have a heart attack or fall asleep. I hope it's sleep. I'm too you g and cute to die...
Did you ever notice that airports seem to draw out the worst people? Ugh. Stupid elitist assholes that think rules apply to everyone but them. I'm a little mad still about the slouching who decided to bypass the entire security queue and just mosey on up to the counter. Fucking jerk. Apparently he thought that because he had a shitty haircut and a cheap suit that he was somehow special. In hindsight, he may have been a copilot or something. Definitely not important enough to be in charge, but maybe a wingman. Eh heh heh. Wingman, get it?
Oh, kill me now. It needs to be several hours from now, and I need to already be in Florida. I'll take lots of pictures in case anyone would like to live vicariously through me. Ya know, like if you want to escape the super shitty Minnesota weather? :)

Desperately Seekin Susan

"Susan" being my search for a home's new codename.

As those of you who bother correspondence with me outside Facebook are likely well aware, I have been looking to buy a home for quite some time. I looked at one last weekend (at least I think it was then. Time flies/squishes together incoherently when you have a depressingly predictable schedule), and am STILL waiting to hear back from the realtor. Bah humbug, fuckin jerk holidays!

I am getting a smidge antsy, as my last decent neighbour abandoned me last weekend. I am now literally surrounded by idiots. There are the frumpy, horrid, grunt-humpy neighbors to the left, the smelly pothead across, the rhinoceri upstairs, and the Kid Rock/News at Five year at the corner. And an empty apartment which I assume will soon be inhabited by Juggalos. Which will make for 1939's second set. Of Juggalos, I mean. Isn't that awful?! 

Maybe they'll just cut the fucking around and just allow the rest of the circus into Girl Neighbor' s vacated domicile. That would only make sense at this point...

Anyway, back to The House. The House is very near to my current location, and has a BACKYARD. So I could have a dog. Not a hamster, like, a REAL DOG. I need that house. And I need it before my lease is up in January, so I don't have to get my already ludicrous rent jacked up another $25. 

REALTOR: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. GET BACK TO ME NOW!!!!!!!

P.S. I have just gone to the trouble of putting on pants to check the mail as I'm expecting a package, only to discover that usps has apparently taken a Snow Day. Really?! I suspect this has something to do with why you are falling out of favor... Ya know who didn't get a fucking Snow Day?! Everyone else!

Did I do That?

So, I was reading something the other day, somewhere..... On the internet.... Possibly in a magazine.... Look, I have long days, I can't be expected to remember minutia. Annnnnyway, it was something about how 91% of people admit to texting things they would never say to someone's face. It made me kind of hyper-vigilant. Now, every time I am about to send off a text, I have to read it and ask myself, "would I say that to them if they were in front of me?"

So, many text messages later, I am yet to come across a firm "no." And I will text some weird shit to some people. And I promise, I am being honest with myself when I ask that question. I think it helps that I REFUSE to have important or unhappy conversations via text message, and usually not over the phone at all. I require face time for truly impactful news whenever possible. I think it also helps that very little makes me uncomfortable, and I can't think of a single topic that should not be mentioned. All things are worth talking about!

ALL. OF. THE. THINGS.

So, basically, I thought that was interesting that 91% of people polled said that. I think that means that people are probably having emotion-y-type conversations via text, which I personally find weird. Learn to say shit out loud, 91%. Seriously.

This vaguely reminds me of my (semi- sort of) frequent tirades about dudes hitting on me via Facebook. It's freakin' weird. And an automatic no-go. I mean, if you use it to, like, get my number, and/or ask me out for a drink or something, cool (provided I actually know you- I'm not going to lie, actually LOOKING at friend requests feels like work, and I like the added bonus of being able to delete people once I realize that I have either never met them, or maybe I have and I don't remember because, presumably, they sucked and were not memorable). But if it turns into a creepy compliment-track, or whatever, where you get caught in a nice-things-I-like/want to have sex with-about-you-loop just.... Stop. Please. Cuz, now I think you're a binoculars in the bushes type, and nothing good will ever come of this.

As per usual, that got into topic-peripherals quickly... Hooray for free association!

The Great Hormonal Conspiracy or, It's a Trap

So, as many of you know, I have not been a passenger on the Dating Train in quite some time. This has led to me becoming (hypothetically) a 14 year old boy. Now, lemme tell ya- the life of gym socks and clandestine internet porn ain't all it's cracked up to be. It's a lonely existence. And it leads to poor decision-making. And hairy palms. Eventually blindness.

Eh heh, I'm kidding.

But seriously. After several years-yes, I said years- like dos or greater, I don't even know any more, it gets confusing. Like, I don't know how to interact with the opposite sex in any way other than the Festual Harassment sort of way. I don't know how to deal with attractive gentlemen without being a boorish turbo-perv. Thanks Fest, for helping me bone up on my social skills! Yeah, bone. I said it. See, I can't stop! Gah!!!!

As much as I enjoy being the young(ish) proverbial Dirty Old Man, I feel like this may be detrimental to my future prospects. Who wants to settle down and domesticated Herbert? Who, I ask youuuuu?! Wait, that make  me sound like I roll around in a windowless van full of starburst and puppies. I don't. I drive a Saturn. I drive a Saturn full of broken social niceties and ladylike behavior.

That's all. Just wanted to inform you all if my social retardation. In case yous was wondering. Don't worry, I knowwwww.

Why I Suspect I Might be a Superhero and Other Stuff About Me

Why I suspect I might be a superhero:

• I like to help people
• I have a weakness- mechanically separated chicken. It makes me physically ill, squiggly, and useless.
• I'm ultra-powerful
• I'm nice to look at (superhero chicks pretty much have to be good looking)
• And, perhaps most compellingly-

I HAVE A FUCKING CAPE!

 

 

Now- other stuff about me.

 

As some of you may know, it is common knowledge that I have healthy self-esteem. Now, I will admit, this is not a 24/7 thing. I have my moments of feeling absolutely shitty about myself, but for the most part, I feel pretty damned good about being me. I think I'm generally awesome. I get asked about it all the time. People seem to always want to know how it is that I feel so great about myself. Don't worry, I'll feed you, baby birds!

 

Do I think I'm perfect? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not even close. But I'm good with that. Have you ever met someone who tries to be perfect? They are SO. FUCKING. ANNOYING. They're awful. They're  boring!

 

I have a lot of flaws. And I'm okay with that. They keep me interesting. And working on them gives me a sense of purpose. Eventually I get rid of them, and they are replaced with new flaws. My work is never done. I think that embracing your flaws is a beautiful thing! I don't let them consume me, because I know that I am working on them.

 

I know my strengths, and my capabilities. I'm not afraid to fail, because I know that I will learn from my failures. And I know that next time, I will do better. Sometimes I fuck up repeatedly, but again- for every time I fuck up, I know that I'm a little bit closer to not fucking up next time.

 

Am I the best looking chick that ever lived? Nope. But I'm not bad. I'm pretty, and I have curves, and I work it dammit. I work it!

 

I have no coordination, but I have a sense of humor about it. That counts for something. As many of you know, one of my most used phrases is "shit, there's a wall/desk/table/whatever there..."

 

I guess the central theme here is that I know I am far from perfect, and I am happy with it. I strive for self-improvement, and I have no desire to be anything other than what I am.

I don't have total peace, but most of the time, I'm pretty freakin' happy with myself and my life.