Monday, May 4, 2015

Random Update

I have been getting really overwhelmed by EVERYTHING lately. Like, it has gotten bad enough that most days, I actually struggle to leave the house. Work, school, life, the world, people... It is just freaking me out. A lot. So, I was thinking - (bear with me, this is going to get a little...snakey...)

I have a ton of makeup. Like, seriously, you would be horrified. There's sooo much of it. And I buy new stuff pretty regularly. At last count I had over 300 different eyeshadows. I probably have 30 different shades of lipstick. Hell, I have nail polish for basically every conceivable situation.

But! There is a reason for this seemingly random statement. Makeup, to me, is sort of like battle armor. When I take the time to put on makeup, I feel...a little better. Better about myself, better about life, and better about the world in general.

So, I think I have found a solution to whatever this is that makes me freak the hell out every time I have to be in public with more than, like, 5 people: FULL ON BODY PAINT.

Just kidding, I know that is fucking ludicrous (although the horrors of my makeup addiction are very, very real). But seriously, this is a very real problem for me right now. I now regularly freak out in public. Like, sweating, heart-racing, might vomit, and I'm just generally becoming more and more unpleasant to be around out in the real world. Does that happen to any of you readers (assuming there are readers)? What do you do? Is there any way to deal with this that doesn't involve my life spinning horribly out of control when I become hopelessly, Requiem for a Dream-ly addicted to weird crazy pills?

Magic potions, Harry Potter spells, mantras, gris-gris, anything?!


  1. Sigh. I did a comment and Google ate it.

    I sucked big time at Star Wars Celebration. The crowds. Too many people. I had to give myself time-outs away from the humans. Makes me unfun to bring to public, which also sucks lots.

    Meditation works some for me to recharge and un-anxiety. Mostly I just learned at Fest, mostly, to recognize when I'm getting extra cranky and anxious and take a break. Sorry...I know that's not much help. But I get it dude.

    1. Today, just knowing somebody gets it feels pretty okay.