IKEA is Horrorstör

I will preface with the following disclaimer:

I have not read Grady Hendrix's Horrorstör - yet. But I know someone who has, and as it was explained to me, it seems pretty damned right-the-fuck-on. We went to IKEA like 2 weeks ago, and I still feel vaguely panicky. Why must it be a giant hedge maze? Why do they pipe in those fuccccccckkkked up smells? (I am not 100% sure this is true - it might just be the legion foul smells of my fellow meat-sacks)

I think this quote from the book nicely sums up my experience:
“There’s nothing waiting inside but retail slavery, endless exploitation, and personal subjugation to the whims of our corporate overlords.”

But, all is well that ends in me not falling to the floor in a mewling, twitching pile. We bought some very adult furniture.
                                     

Like this, but not. Google "adult furniture if you're in the mood to be equal parts bored and...whatever the combination of titilated and confused is - titfused?

We got the Vallentuna sofa (which I can't stop calling Valiant Tuna - so now we have a courageous fish couch), and a headboard/bedframe whose name escapes me because it was way less amusing. But they are both pretty cool because they have lots of storage (like, the couch is MADE OF STORAGE - ALL THE SEATS HAVE STORAGE UNDER THE CUSHIONS - WHY AM I YELLING?!!!)

I don't know why I'm blogging about this except that we have been in the PNW for over a year, and I still don't have any local friends to talk to. Also, between work and school, I don't really talk to anyone anyway.

Post-Halloween Clearance rocks my socks off!

I loooooove all things Halloween. Every year, in the week after the holiday, I spend basically all of my excess cash buying boatloads of amazing horror-themed delights. This year, I didn't have quite as much as I would have liked to have blown, but I think that between Shawn and myself, we got a pretty impressive haul - hello, werewolf-skin rug! I only took a few pictures to share, because honestly, transferring them from camera (phone) to laptop is a little more work than I feel like doing (I blame cramps).

So, to get right to it, here we have the 2 AMAZING wreaths I bought from Michaels for 80% off. (O_O) Shawn said these needed to be mentioned, because we don't usually adult, and we both feel that these were acceptably grownup-like,

Please forgive my inability to take a quality photo.

I also got a cake stand (which is currently holding some makeup) with a skeleton hand sticking up out of the center, the aforementioned werewolf-skin rug, some arm-and-hand bone salad servers, a raven hand towel, and probably some other stuff that is escaping me currently.

And, although we bought these last year, I will share the following 2 photos as they just finally went up.

                                        So, bats and bloody hand-prints/blood splatters.

Don't worry, the apartment is not always as messy as it looks in that top picture. I think we were packing for our recently aborted camping trip...