Because Time Travel

Now that I've written something again, I can't seem to stop. You don't know this, but I'm writing to you from the past (yay, scheduling!). I have decided that Cast Puppies need to be discussed. I feel like this is very important.

Last night, in the throes of cold medicine-induced delusions, I found myself explaining to Shawn that if I could just get my hands on a "large, majestic puppy," and 6 leg casts (2 human and 4 puppy shaped), I could quit my job and survive comfortably on the donations of others. See, we would hobble together through parks the world over, and politely explain to any who would listen (well, I would - clearly this kind of thing is not in the puppy's wheelhouse. He could only communicate it to other puppies. Unless, he's a magic puppy like Air Bud - but I digress). In hindsight, I realize this would be a con - and not really in line with my moral compass and/or general work ethic, but I was relatively certain that it would be a perfectly acceptable life choice.

I feel that it is worth mentioning that this whole line of conversation began because I started by....

EXPLAINING THAT FREE CANDY ONLY HELPS KIDNAP CHILDREN AND IDIOTS, AND THAT THE TICKET TO TEENS OR ADULTS IS TO CARRY A BOX OF INJURED PUPPIES IN YOUR VAN, BUT...SPOILER ALERT: THEY AREN'T REALLY INJURED (you're not a monster) THEY'RE WEARING CASTS FOR PRETEND - TO HELP YOU KIDNAP BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND THEYJUSTLOVEYOUSOMUCHANDWANTYOUTOBEHAPPY.

So, yeah. That all happened.

I have so much to write, and so little motivation to write it.

The world is a big, scary....thing, and I haven't really felt like being an active part of it in quite some time. Sorry.

There, now that's been said, let's move on, shall we?

My brother got married recently. It was a perfectly short ceremony, and I cried. A lot. Probably while loudly protesting that I was not crying. It's all a bit of a blur, really. I will try to explain myself here, because it might make my behavior seem less awkward in hindsight.

First, there were, like, 20 people there that I didn't know. Crowds and/or strangers stress me out. Possibly because I'm defective. Also, my niece was the most adorable tiny lady I have ever seen - as always. I was really proud of/uncomfortable with my brother being such a fucking adult all of a sudden.

And then shit got super crazy up inside my brains. I started thinking about how suddenly I have this new family member. And a sister, no less. And why do I only hear from the sister I ALREADY HAVE (every few years) ONLYWHENSHEWANTSMONEYORTOUSEMYCAR?! WHYISTHISMYLIFE?! And then I realized I was being insane, so I made my brain stop trying to do...whatever the shit that was.

To summarize: I think I can safely say now that I know what temporary insanity feels like.

That's all you get for now.maybe next time we can talk about me and a puppy in leg casts and why this is the future of wealth.